JUDGING and PRE-JUDGING

How quickly do we make a judgement? I think the answer is often too quickly

We see something on face value and we decide we know what it’s all about, or what will happen and make a decision about a situation or a person – a judgement.

How many people watched “Britain’s Got Talent” last week? I did (well not live but the recording of it). Towards the end this couple came out, a young girl and someone who I at first thought was a girl but turned out to be a young lad. There is no doubt that one of the first definitions of him was that he was really big, and he was. That was an observation not a judgement (see me in person and you would know why I am not the one to talk about size).

However listening to their story (he had been bullied because of his size and this girl had supported him) they were both at singing classes and the singing tutor thought they would be good to sing together as they sounded good. I’d heard this before and thought “this will be a disaster they always are when a “singing teacher” thinks their pupils are good”. Simon Cowell (one of the judges) was sub titled as saying “just when you thought it couldn’t get worse” as they walked onto stage, so he had pre judged this pair too.

When the girl sang she was good, when the young man sang it was truly angelic. He was amazing. It was the same sensation as when Susan Boyle first sang on stage a couple of years ago and most people wrote her off before she sang.

As these two sang I can honestly say I was so moved I cried. Truly amazing

If you have not seen it then follow this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kt3Utn4mjeg Charlotte and Jonathan “Let This Be Our Prayer”

So what about when we sit in our chairs and pews. Do we judge those around us? Have we passed condemnation on those that we do not know before we have even met them?

Actually I think the “church” at large does. I think as Christians we become very quick to state as fact that we have it right and as such all others are wrong and that they should do or should not do this that or the other.

Now please do not confuse this with the fact that I will stand up for my Saviour at every opportunity that I can and I will not back away from what the scriptures have taught me and those wonderfully blessed ministers and teachers that I do and have sat under over many years of following the Christian faith.

My point is that whilst I do believe many actions and activities are against the teachings of God’s word that is because He has convicted me of that through my faith in Him and through the teaching I have received. Where people have not been exposed to any of that how can they even understand why what they may be doing could be against what God teaches us?

So the actions people carry out may well be wrong but too often we go beyond recognising that an activity or an action is wrong and we jump straight into the role of judge and jury and have condemned that person outright.

Luke 6 vs. 37 says “Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn others, or it will all come back against you. Forgive others, and you will be forgiven”

So quite possibly you are fine as you gather on a Sunday morning for your corporate worship, because everyone is a familiar face, you know everyone and it is all quite cosy. And actually living in Norfolk where I do that can often be the case. But picture the scenario where a guy with a coat that hasn’t been washed for many days comes in, he smells a bit, he sits next to you. He looks at you and mumbles “hello”.

So you can do a few things, turn your nose up at the smell and be a good “Christian” and just grin and bear it saying nothing and avoiding too much contact, but maybe returning a quick “hi” to be polite. You could just find the smell too much and get up and walk away and sit somewhere else. Maybe you show real love, engage in a conversation, find he is homeless take him for a meal or invite to your home for dinner.

THINK CAREFULLY – what would you REALLY do? I am not convinced many would ACTUALLY take him to dinner although we would all say “I hope I would fulfil some of his needs” (i.e. take him or give him a meal).

What do you do now for the person who doesn’t quite fit the norm, do you avoid them, just be polite or really engage and find out something about them so you can see where you can provide help.

You see I don’t think being judgemental has to be as cut and dried as we think it is. I think it can enter into our church lifestyles quite quickly and easily.

So what about something that is more controversial? What are you going to do when a gay couple walk into your church? It may not be outwardly obvious, but let us assume for arguments sake that it is. Again similar questions, are you going to engage with them in conversation, are you just going to pretend or are you going to walk away because they are “so bad”?

Now I personally believe that same sex relationships are wrong, as taught in scripture. But I also think drinking too much alcohol is wrong.

Does that mean I judge any of people in those situations, say someone who either occasionally gets drunk, or has a full blown issue with alcohol? No it does not. I still engage with them. I still talk to them. I still share part of my life with them. Not stepping outside of the faith that I have through the grace of Jesus, but being “part of the world” engaging with all people that enter in and out of my life at different times.

The point I am making is that if we judge people outright then they have no chance of encountering the truth that has been revealed to us through Jesus Christ.

And that is all we can do, reveal that truth by the way we live, the way we act, more towards fellow man than fellow Christian (it’s really easy to love and engage with people of a like mind). What people observe on the way we behave to those around us is the measure they will have of the Christian faith. We can share what we have but only the Holy Spirit can convict a heart and so we are not responsible for them making or not making a decision to follow Christ.

That also means we have to do so much more than just say “we are against the change to the marriage laws as proposed by the UK government”. I use that as a current and recent example. We have to explain why we are opposed to something.

Let me expand using a situation from a recent church (no name given or shared).

At a service during the past two months in the UK in a church, a notice was given concerning the recent petitions that have been doing the rounds opposing the move to allow gay marriage in church. The notice was fairly simple it was along the lines of we are submitting the petition soon and if anyone else wants to sign it then please do so after the service. Maybe 30 seconds of the service time. It was followed by a comment to the effect of “it’s important we sign or write about this and oppose the government in the action they are taking”.

That’s was fine no problem, and as I have mentioned above as an individual I am in agreement with the petition and opposed to the change proposed in the marriage laws. So if I had heard that I would think nothing much of it other than “yep already done that”.

The service went on and had some worship with a range of songs talking about lifting God high, Him being awesome, Jesus coming to save etc. The message was a strong message, delivered with authority and power and full of the Holy Spirits blessing, and at the end of it many people were prayed for the Spirit continued to move and many were slain in the Spirit and really blessed

Fantastic, great service, powerful presence of God, “tick in the box”

Some people had visited that service, and were not church people but were visiting a family friend and had agreed to come along. What was it they took away from the service?

“Why do you (meaning the church) hate Gays’ so much?”

You see what had happened was that what to the usual congregation was an innocent notice was seen by someone external to the normal meeting as being judgemental. A service that shared love and provided blessing to so many was seen as hypocritical in light of the notice given

I am not saying that as Christians (or preachers or teachers) that we should step away from something God has convicted in our hearts, but I think we do have to look at how we deliver that. “If we condemn we are condemned”.

No, far from it I think we have to be stronger in standing up for Christian values. We enjoy the privilege of freedom of choice and free speech and that must be preserved without it rising to hatred or inciting hatred in any way to another person. We need to be aware of the thin line we tread between standing up for our values, and being a judging person.

And make sure we bring that back into our every day life. Think twice before you judge the guy in front of you, that person who doesn’t appear as “normal” as you, who smells a little more unsavoury than your delicate nose was designed to handle. Sunday morning look again and look around you and just think “is there anyone I go out of my way to avoid in here” and if so seriously ask why. I’m going to guess somewhere you are holding onto a judgement of some sort.

For one second just imagine what it would be like if no one judged another person, outside of the rules of the law of the land and the courts, and actually if we could all live without that whether in church or not, how much richer and more peacful life would be.

Someone has to make a start. As the church of God in this world will you join me?

God Bless

FOOTSTEPS

So I know this is very quickly behind that last post, but something that has been going on for me over several months/the past year, came into focus this afternoon during one of our (almost) regular walks.

Have you ever heard it said “He will follow in his father’s footsteps”? (Substitute the he for a she and father for mother where it applies). Have you ever said it, has it ever been said over or about you? Quite possibly you could say yes to all three of those.

Have you ever thought about what it means to follow in another’s footsteps?

It doesn’t always apply to a parent but can be a mentor or a friend etc.

Of course it can have both positive and negative meanings depending on the path led by the person you are following. However, this is focused on the positive and is pre-supposing that the person or example that I am looking to follow is a positive one.

Now I would be deeply honoured to hear I am following in my father’s or my brother’s footsteps, people who apart from being my family are God centred individuals who I deeply admire.

Above all Earthly footsteps, family or otherwise, I want to strive to follow in the footsteps of Jesus, my pattern and my role model as a Christian.

But have you ever tried to literally walk in someone’s footsteps?

Today we took a walk on the beach, along with Forrest my daughter’s dog. As we walked along the sand I was left slightly behind my wife and daughter (I do not walk very quickly) and I was looking at the footprints my wife had left and I tried to step exactly where she had done so I was literally walking in her footsteps. It was not as easy as I had first thought it may be.

Julie’s stride pattern was shorter than mine, and so I had to adjust the steps I was taking, this felt awkward and I found it far more tiring than walking to my own pattern. And then it got worse for me as her direction had changed and she was walking through softer sand that I always find harder to walk in, but was made even more difficult by trying to match her step for step and stride for stride.

When we are asked to follow in the footsteps of Jesus we are not told that every step we take will be easy, simple or in the direction we are currently heading. We have to make changes, we have to learn to change and we have to be committed to staying with that change no matter how difficult so that we can stay following those footsteps laid down in front of us.

For some time now God has been teaching me a lesson or twenty. I am a person who likes to think I have everything pretty much sorted out and know what I am doing and where I am going. I like to think that I know what God would have me do.

But for me that means I often fall into my usual pattern. I will make difficult adjustments I will change the stride of my walk to fit His footsteps, but too soon the path He is taking me on gets difficult and I find I am walking through that softer sand, where it is heavier going, and all to quickly I will move over to an easier path, finding once again that familiar place known as my “comfort zone”.

So more recently He has been adjusting my thoughts, He has been teaching me to listen and assuring me that His destiny for me is something that cannot be achieved by doing the same as I have always done, by walking in the way I have always walked. I am learning to just take hold of the direction He is leading me, to grasp the opportunities He places in front of me to honour Him and He is teaching me to seek out His footsteps and place my feet where He has led me.

I am still learning and I pray that I will continue to listen to Him that I will continue to adjust my walk to be fully aligned to His.

How much are you willing to change the steps you are taking, to adjust your stride patterns so that the steps you take mirror the steps He has already taken?

Oh to have said “He is walking in His Heavenly Father’s footsteps”

God Bless You All

RESPONSIBILITY

I am deeply privileged to be responsible for nurturing the lives of 6 wonderful young people, my children. Four daughters and two sons.

As parents we have our children with us for quite a short time of their entire lives. During that time we hope to provide them some guidance to help and enable them to live out the rest of their lives, to make informed decisions and ultimately as Christians we hope that they find a pathway to the saving grace that comes from knowing Jesus.

I have heard many quotations concerning children during my lifetime:

“Children should be seen and not heard”

“Spare the rod and spoil the child”

“Like mother, like daughter and similarly like father like son”

“Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them”

And there are those from scripture:

Proverbs 22 vs. 6

“Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it”

I Timothy 4 v 12

“Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity” (as I posted in last month’s blog).

And there are many more.

A short while ago I was reading Proverbs chapter one and came across these verses on which I have pondered for a while:

Proverbs 1 vs. 8 & 9:

“My child, listen when your father corrects you, don’t neglect your mother’s instruction. What you learn from them will crown you with grace and be a chain of honour around your neck”

So the emphasis shifts from focusing in the “child” and turns the focus on us as parents and guardians of the young. The instruction may be to “the child” but the responsibility is clearly placed at the feet of parents. The child is told “what they learn” is important and will be a focal point of their future, this “chain of honour”

As always this led me to thinking about what “chain” my children would see. And it led me further into fully appreciating that EVERYTHING I do has an impact on how they will live in the future. What they see “behind closed doors” is the “real” me, “warts and all”. They see me happy, sad, angry and glad. They have a first hand view of how I react and deal with everything that comes our way weather that, in our eyes, is something good or something bad. They also see how I behave towards other people and how I talk about and treat other people.

So as is often the case I reflected how this passage could apply to us all, parents or not. I realise it specifically mentions mother and father, but I also see the focus is for the child to be guided, and obviously the role of the parent is absolutely key in developing this.

However as a body of God’s people we all have a role to play in developing and nurturing the young. And right now I am not simply talking about age, but about spiritual maturity too. How each and every one of us reacts to each other, with those within the “family” of God and those who are outside of the “family” is absolutely crucial in the development of the “young”. New Christians are like children regardless of age in that they will look around and observe how those of us who are slightly more mature in our faith behave, and will reflect that behaviour.

So please just allow me a little “poetic” licence and adjust that verse in Proverbs slightly (retaining the emphasis of the passage):

“Young Christian, listen when those in leadership correct you, don’t neglect your fellow Christians example. What you learn from them will crown you with grace and be a chain of honour around your neck”

Children, young people and new Christians need solid role models, they need good examples and they can only come from the people they surround themselves with, be that birth parents or be that fellow Christians.

Jesus was our role model, our example, and we are told to reflect His image.

If I thought I had responsibilities before, now this passage in Proverbs has made me realise more than ever that we all have a responsibility as we live out our lives each and every day.

I pray that Daddy God gives me the strength to reflect Jesus in a positive way so that I do not cause my child, or a brother or sister to slip up because of what they have seen me do.

Amen and God Bless